Cousins

This past weekend my family and I drove up to the Sacramento area to attend my cousin’s wedding.  I get to see many of my cousins several times a year so it’s not like I haven’t seen them all grown-up before, but still the long hours in the car got me really thinking about the way childhood evolves into adulthood, and also about the unique relationship that cousins provide.

I was lucky to have parents who got along with their siblings and who made an effort to be with them for family gatherings.  Even though I’m significantly older than most of my cousins, I still considered them my childhood friends.  In fact, for awhile being the oldest gave me a reason to be admired.  I could go on roller coasters that they were afraid of, I knew how to play all the card games, I was the first one to graduate to the adult table at dinner.  I have so many fond memories of bets won, presents secretly unwrapped, swimming suits swapped, basketball games in the street, family triathlons, infinite amounts of ping-pong, and long, long hours of spades tournaments--all of them played with my cousins.

Now most of my cousins literally tower over me physically, and the coolness factor has long been given to those with more adventures, more rebellions, and louder stories to tell. For almost a decade I’ve been in a totally different stage of life than my cousins.  I’m the only one married (well, not anymore) and the only one with kids, so my life is just different.  Whereas my summer plans include swimming lessons and potty training, my cousins are planning trips this year to various countries.  My cousins still switch jobs every season and work hard to pay their bills, I’m locked into a career that will most-likely take me into retirement.  I feel old around them, but not really wiser.  And I found in my long drive home this week, that I am not jealous of how fun and beautiful my cousins are.  I wouldn’t change being a mom for anything and truly I never was much of a partier anyway.  And even though I may regret being so distant from my cousins, I also feel a sense of pride in being part of their exciting worlds.  I’m pleased with how everyone has turned out and glad to watch them from my own perspective.  

Plus, I have a new generation of cousins to play with.  My kids have cousins just a short drive away from us who they absolutely adore.  My sons and my nephews are best friends and watching them together is exciting in a whole new way.  I know that those boys have lots of mischief ahead of them.  I know that there will be numerous of times that they will wear me out.  There will probably be plenty of time-outs and band-aids ahead of us, but the journey will be so interesting.  I’m so glad that my kids have cousins to play with, because I know they will forge a lifetime of memories with them.