School Year's Eve

School Year’s Eve

August, 2014

Another school year begins in a few days.  For me this is the time of the year when I do my most introspection, my most planning, and my most hoping for the upcoming months.   This is my tenth year prepping for a new class, which means, now that I’ve hit the decade mark, that I’m an expert.  Obviously.  My expert status has given me the right (at least in my own blog) to disperse guidance about what makes a successful student.  To save everyone a long lecture, however, I’ve narrowed my opinions down to three things I wish every parent could know.

#1 -- School has to be a priority--everyone’s priority.  It’s very common for parents to set up rules like “homework has to be done before playing,” but I think this is only half of the story.  If school is meant to be a priority for kids then it needs to be a priority for adults too.  Go ahead and get homework done before playing, that’s great, but also homework needs to come before chores, babysitting siblings, and other home jobs.  I have many memories of my parents taking over dish duty for me when I had a test to study for or a project to complete.  I also remember them reading with me constantly, despite how tired they must have been.   For me it was very clear that school was important to everyone in my house and we all had to work together to make sure it happened.  And, not to brag or anything, but I’m pretty confident that my sister’s and my GPA speaks to successful implementation of this policy.  

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say that kids shouldn’t do chores or play outside (in fact those are on my list of advice as well).  The ideal situation is to have balance between all these things.  What I am saying is that if you want your kid to put school work ahead of other things in his or her life, then you’ll need to put school above things in your life too.  

#2 -- Find something for your child to work hard at -- Among my friends this summer has raged the debate “youth sports vs. more free family time.”  I have some definite opinions on the matter that I won’t get into right now, but I will say this: kids in this generation, more than any previous, have got to find ways to work hard and extend themselves.  So pick something outside of school for your child to do and really push them to improve in it.  It can be sports, or raising an animal, or learning an instrument, or making movies, or scouting, whatever.  It has to be hard though; something they need genuinely work at to improve.  Your child doesn’t need to be THE best, but your child really should reach for his or her best in at least one thing.  

Think about it this way: kids today have so many things given to them easily, but the best things in life still require work.  Marriage, parenthood, careers, missions, living a moral standard, these things are hard.  How will our children know how to work hard at these crucial life elements if they’ve never been given the chance to work at anything?   

#3 -- Say yes to something -- Last year was an absolute mind-blowing shock to me when, because of a new leadership position I had at school, I became more involved with the PTA.  I could not believe how much stuff is done by the same small handful of people.  I really had no idea that so few people actually help at school functions.  So I started looking around at other children events, and again I could see the same families over-taxing themselves over and over again.  That’s when I came up with a new motto: “say yes to something.”   

If everyone in the school said yes to helping at even one school event, then all the fun stuff would be covered and all the work would be shared.  If everyone said yes to one extra curricular job (softball board member, girl scout leader, club chairperson, room mom, etc.) then everyone could have the satisfaction of sharing a talent and serving others, and the overachievers could potentially save themselves from burnout.  

So find something, just one thing to volunteer at this year regarding your children.  Your children will learn by your selfless example of how to give yourselves to others in a way, hopefully, that contributes to family unity.   This selfless drive will help your children become more rounded students and more aware of the life they’re learning to live in.  And all of us will benefit by the interesting, fun things adult volunteers can give to the community.

And now, with that all said, it’s time to get back to classroom planning.  It’s going to be a great year!  

 

Notes from the Sidelines

Notes From the Sidelines:

Celebrating my two favorite right fielders

June, 2014

This week the only person I’ve ever called my “sports hero” passed away leaving me and much of San Diego musing over memories of #19.  Tony Gwynn started playing for the Padres the year I was born and retired with the Padres 20 years later.  This means I literally watched him play my entire childhood.   I truly loved watching him play and am glad those memories add to the mosaic of my youth.

There are lots of great Gwynn memories.  I remember the 3000th hit and the year he almost hit .400.  I remember him walking on the field with Ted Williams during the opening of the ‘98 World Series to throw the first pitch and countless games one by a clutch hit in the 9th.  

My favorite field memory came when I was 8.  That year I had a second favorite player who played 1st base for the Giants named Will Clark.  I don’t know why I liked him so much, he was grumpy and played for a rival team, but I was still fascinated.  As it turned out, at the end of the 1989 season Will Clark and Tony Gwynn were both vying for the batting title.  In fact it came down to the very last game.   My mom took a friend and I to that game.  This was before prices were so exorbitant, so we were actually able to sit field level, right in between 1st base and right field.  It was a great game.  Tony got 3 hits and won another batting title.  I was in baseball bliss.  

Tony Gwynn was a great influence to my personal game as well.  My dad and I watched his batting videos together repeatedly and we listened to his wisdom about how to play the game the right way.  I took it as a personal gift when he chose to stay with the Padres instead of going to another team for more money.  I wish more players now valued quality, loyalty, and purity in the way that Tony Gwynn did.

I also have some personal memories about Tony Gwynn.  Since his son was a year younger than me at Poway High, Tony was a frequent visitor to baseball and basketball games.  In fact at the beginning of each basketball season he gave all players, boys and girls, a new pair of shoes, which was awesome.   One time after one of my JV practices my teammates and I were watching the boys Varsity game.  Several of my teammates got up to get snacks or something, leaving the seat next to me empty.  In came Tony Gwynn and sat right next to me on the empty bench!  When my friends came back we gave an awkward look at each other.  In no way were we going to ask Tony Gwynn to go to a new seat.  Still he noticed our dilemma (I suppose teenage girls aren’t known for their subtlety) and gracefully moved up a few rows.

I will miss Tony Gwynn immensely.  I will miss hearing him share his knowledge of the game and I will miss his wonderful laugh.  I hope he gets to catch up with Ted Williams and Jerry Coleman in his new home.  

But now I have a new right fielder to cheer for, #4, Ethan Worthen!   Ethan is playing on his first all-star team this summer and his coaches have given him his new position.  Right field in the Shetland (5-6 year olds) division has a very important role: backing up the first baseman and yelling “timeout” to stop the runners.  It turns out Ethan is pretty speedy and always pays attention, so this is a good place for him (even though I think 6 is way too young to focus on one position--but that’s a rant for another day).  

I thought I knew everything about summer tournament teams, since I spent every single summer of my childhood playing on one, but I have to admit I have been totally unprepared for watching these games on the sidelines.  Why hasn’t anyone ever told me how nerve wracking it is to watch your kid play when someone is actually keeping score?  It’s terrifying!  It is so hard to watch your baby strike out or make an error and know that they’ll be embarrassed.  The moms of kids sports do not get enough credit.  Their emotions are put through the ringers every game and then have maybe the hardest job of all: keeping the kids positive, happy, learning to be good sports.   It is definitely a new experience for me, but with my kids as competitive and active as they are, probably an experience I will be having for many years to come.  

If I were Queen...

If I were Queen of the World…

May 16, 2014

It’s been two months since I’ve updated my blog.  The reason is simple, I’ve been absolutely, positively busy!   I’ve wanted so many times to write about things such as our family vacation over spring break, the birth of my sweet little nephew, the evolution of a new Little League Season, but alas, I have simply not had the time (the pictures in this blog are from these events at least).  Even though I haven’t sat down at my computer much this season, I have been running a constant one-sided conversation in my own head about things that would change if someone let me in charge.  

If I were Queen of Little League, things would definitely be different in the Shetland (aka T-Ball) division.  For one thing I wouldn’t have so many people on a team.  Why in the world are there 13 kids on a T-Ball team?  I think 8 would be ideal.  So what if not every position is covered?  It’s so painful to watch kids standing out there in the outfield for 30 minutes at a time.

Also, I would make it mandatory that at least 1 mom be on the coaching staff.  I’m all for my boys having positive male role models, but these male coaches are so clueless when it comes to time management.  There needs to be females there to say things like, “Ok, let’s get this game started on time today.  There are restless toddlers in the stands,”  and “no, it’s not a good idea to play another inning. We’ve been here 2 hours already and the boys really need to have dinner and do homework.”   

If I were Queen of New Technology I would hang off on handheld devices and cell phones for a bit and focus my effort on teleportation.  This would mean my husband, as one of millions of commuters, could actually be home every once in a while instead of stuck in traffic.  What a difference that would make in our lives!  It would also make it possible to visit my sweet little nephew, Brendan (and his parents too) more often.  Come on people, it’s time to develop portkeys!

If I were Queen of Vacation Planning, I would make it impossible for people who diligently plan out their vacations to accidentally forget something important.  When we went camping last month in Northern California I worked so hard on getting everything ready.  It took some serious skill to fit in a camping trip, plus road trip, plus new-baby trip all into one small car.  When we set up our tent we discovered the one crucial thing that was missing; the pump for the air mattress!  It was enough to set me to tears.  Stephen and I actually blew the thing up, by our own mouths.  It took 3 hours!!!  The one good thing about the experience was that since we had to go buy a pump the next day, we got to visit the world’s most beautiful Target.  Seriously, if you’re ever in the bay area you have got to see the San Rafael Target, located right on San Francisco Bay.  It’s gorgeous!  

If I were Queen of Education I would give all teachers a week in the Spring to have meetings, conferences, etc. related to the next school year without having to teach at the same time.  All questions about next year would have to be posed in that week only so that the rest of the weeks can be spent on our current students.  The end of the school year is so very hard because we’re still working on hard on our current class, but we also have to be discussing and making decisions about next year too.  It is truly exhausting.  

In the end no one has crowned me Queen of Anything.  That’s alright I guess.  Summer is just around the corner and I have so much planned for those months!  Stay safe everyone.  Lots of love.

The Silver Lining Amid the Mess

Do you see this picture here?  It was taken an hour ago in my boys’ bedroom.  Aaron decided to climb on top of his dresser to reach into the top drawer and the whole closet came caving in.  This chaos serves as a metaphor for my life right now: while everyone is basically whole and healthy, I have to admit my life is a bit of a mess right now.  

Things have been crazy lately and my sanity has not always been in tact.  I’ve forgotten my keys, I’ve burned meals, I’ve lost important papers.  I’ve picked up some bad habits too like only doing dishes twice a week and eating fast food too often.  My kids have been dragged to extra meetings, my husband has heard daily whine sessions, and my students have learned of my grumpy side.  In all of this it is so easy to be hard on myself, to compare myself with the image of others.  I think that is a great failing of many great people, however, and so I don’t want to wallow in my imperfections.  Plus, no one wants to read about all of my failings, do you?  Instead, in an effort to Live Like a Kindergartner, I’ve thought of three things that I have done right lately to talk about here.

1 - Keeping My Mouth Shut

At the beginning of Ethan’s basketball season I had a dilemma I’ve never faced before.  Ethan had  gotten himself on a pretty good team where the same three players seemed to be getting the ball over and over.  I noticed that other Biddy Ball coaches were doing things to help out the less-skilled such as rotating who got to pass the ball in when it went out of bounds.  One game Ethan only touched (not shot, or dribbled, only touched) the ball three times throughout the whole game and I really wondered if I should say something to his coach.  On the one hand, I know what it’s like to volunteer for something and have people be ungrateful, which I didn’t want to be.  On the other hand, this was my baby, trying his hardest and just not getting a chance to improve at all.  

        Ultimately I decided that as long as Ethan wasn’t complaining or feeling let down I would keep my mouth shut.   Instead I tried to teach him on my end.  We spent many days working on rebounding and defence as a way  for him to get the ball without relying on his teammates.   In the end I am so glad that I didn’t complain to his coach.  By the end of the season Ethan was passing and stealing the ball, resulting in as much ball touches as anyone else.  Instead of alienating myself to his coach I grew to really admire and appreciate her.  This first basketball season was a huge success and I’m glad the whole family can celebrate.  

2 - Practicing what I preach

       A couple of weeks ago I had jury duty.  I didn’t want to go--no one ever does--but I had already postponed once this year and didn’t really have a valid enough excuse not to be there.  After the initial paperwork was filled out it became known to those of us in the room that this would not be one of those half-of-you-get-to-leave-at-lunch type of jury duties.  In fact it was the opposite, all of us were going to put in a full day and many of us would end up on juries.  There was a chance though, right before we divided into different court rooms, that I could have made excuses and gone home early.  The judge was really trying to let those who had childcare commitments take our excuses and go home if we needed to.

      I was very tempted to do this as sitting on a jury that week would have been very difficult. I couldn’t make myself leave though, because in my lap was the work I had brought with me, which happened to be my students’ essays, some on Ben Franklin, some on Martin Luther King Jr.  Here I was being lectured on by pre-teens on the perseverance of our founding fathers (who created our jury system) and on Civil Rights leaders who extended these freedoms to everyone.   I found myself asking: how can I teach my class about the Constitution, but not actively engage in it myself?  How can I ask my students to read about men being beaten and jailed as they fought for justice, and not actively participate in the system they fought for?   

      I was in court that day for 8 hours before getting to go home.  I didn’t have to serve on a jury, but I still felt as though I had passed a test.

3 - Doing my best over and over and over

My final success of late comes in the form of my three-year-old monster who claws might actually be dulling a bit.  Aaron has been stuck in the terrible twos for more than two years.  He has been my biggest trial in life with his tantrums and whining and refusing to do anything we want him to.  We’ve been trying to potty train him for 10 months.  We’ve been trying to get him to sleep through the night since he was a baby.  We’ve been trying to get him to play nicely with his brother for at least a year.  We’ve been trying to get him to try new foods since his teeth came in.

          At times it has seemed as though I must be the absolute worst mom in the world as none of these issues seemed to be ever resolved.  Until, well, now.  For some reason in the last two weeks Aaron has been a little less painful to be around.  He’s eating bigger meals, going to bed on his own, controlling his temper a bit,  and has even been accident free for the last five days.  I don’t know why he has suddenly decided to grow up.  He’s still far from perfect of course, but his improvement has given me hope that if i just keep trying and trying things really will get better.  If Aaron can stop messing his pants and screaming his head-off, then anything might be possible, right?  Well, maybe not keeping the laundry or the dishes under control...

What Common Core is all about?

It’s been awhile since I’ve written any school-type thing, but since I’ve had so many questions this year about the changes in education, I think this post is a little overdue.  Just like with my teachers’ rights things from last year, I’m not pretending this to be official, or well-researched, or even politically correct.  This is just one teacher’s opinion about what Common Core is and how it’ll affect our public schools.  

Where does Common Core come from?

For the past decade or so colleges and big business have been expressing concern about the lack of preparedness Americans have coming out of high school.  Colleges have been dumbing down their curriculum and professors are disappointed in how poorly students read and write on the whole.  The business sector has some worries too.  There are hundreds of people ready to program computers, but it seems like no one can take a customer service call or write a friendly letter anymore.  So Common Core are national standards written from the top town in an effort to reform education across the country and get students more prepared for the real world.

There is a lot of concern about this nation-wide school reform and how it might be government take-over.  Although I respect those opinions, I really don’t think they are well-founded.  Each state got to choose whether or not to accept the standards (48 out of 50 did) and each state was given the right to add and subtract standards to more closely fit their own needs.  

 So what’s changing?

To the average American parent my guess is that while your child’s teachers have been improving and changing their curriculum, you probably haven’t noticed that much of a difference.  Why?  Because a lot of common core includes things already being done.  The same subjects are being taught, the same good teaching practices are being encouraged, the same classroom atmospheres will remain.  What you may have started to pick up on though is that the general rigor of school is increasing.  Our children now need to be reading more, writing a lot more, and in general thinking and conceptualizing things on a deeper, more advanced level.  

More emphasis is being put on non-fiction reading and on reading shorter, article-type things rather than novels.  A lot of people are sad about this, thinking that book reading is going away.  Not so.  In the lower grades of school classrooms will still present 60 - 70% fiction and even at the end of high school are still expected to read 30% fiction.   I see this shift in reading as being less textbook/anthology reading and more real-life, high interest reading.  I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve had students clap at the end of some of our non-fiction reading pieces this year.  This generation loves information; it’s about time they be allowed to read more interesting things.

Writing is now everywhere.  Expect your students to have written responses in every single subject (even math) from now on.  The new tests have almost eliminated multiple-choice in favor of short answers and even essay answers.  Students need to be able to figure out to solve something AND explain their reasoning. I think improving writing is the very first and possibly hardest thing elementary teachers need to tackle.  I can’t wait for my own kids  to start writing more because I know how valuable good writing is to succeeding in education.

The lines of class subjects are being blurred a bit too.  So instead of having “social studies” and then “language arts” in an elementary classroom these subjects might be treated together so that students are reading and writing about history or performing math equations as part of science.  Even secondary education teachers will be working together more on aligning their lessons.  This isn’t so different from how my schooling was in the 90’s (which I’ve heard was the best decade for education) when we had thematic units, except with that rigor mentioned above.  All I can say is I LOVE this type of teaching.  My 6th graders, for instance, are reading mythology in class (well, they’re about to start), which they’ll be comparing to Percy Jackson, studying Ancient Greece and even playing on Greek Olympic teams for PE.  It’s really fun to dig deep into things and to feel like this is creating memorable, interesting learning for the students.  

Also, as is to be expected, there is a lot more technology in the standards.  About time.  There is also more emphasis on academic vocabulary and on working in partners and in productive learning groups.  My friends who homeschool their kids will have to really work hard on giving these real-life problem-solving experiences for their kids, because the ability to communicate in a group is becoming very marketable.   

What are teachers worried about?

On the whole I think teachers are excited about Common Core.  We finally get away from “every kid must be on the same page,” away from teaching from these boring textbooks, and into curriculum that excites our own creativity and love of learning.  BUT...  there is no time to do it!  With Common Core teachers are expected to create or at least find all of their curriculum, but when are we supposed to do that?  We haven’t been given smaller classes, less grading,  or less meetings.  We haven’t suddenly been given paid prep periods. So curriculum planning is basically happening on our non-paid time.  I have spent every single weekend of this school year preparing new, more interesting, more rigorous curriculum for my kids and I know that this pace will not be slowing down anytime soon.  I think the districts that can find a way for teachers to actually be paid for working on Common Core will have the most chance of their schools being successful at it.

What about the moral issues?

Ok, I’ve heard some weird things about what is now supposed to be taught in classes.  I haven’t been told to teach anything that compromises my own moral standards and quite frankly we just don’t have time to be adding random cultural lessons into the day.  I don’t think conservative parents need to be overly worried, not at this point anyway.  

Do I have any reservations?

Well, yes, there is something that does concern me.  The education world is going through huge changes to better equip our kids, but the problems we have in our country go beyond the classrooms.  If we really want our kids to be successful in college and in careers then our whole society has to improve.  Teachers will have their students reading harder materials, but will parents make sure reading is getting done at home?  Teachers will plan group activities at school, but will parents encourage higher vocabulary practices at the dinner table?  Students will be expected to evaluate whether an author or speaker is right or wrong, but will society be willing to teach moral standards again?  How do kids even know what’s right and wrong these days?  I think schools are headed in the right direction, but I don’t see how major improvement can be made without families and society in general also willing to make positive changes.  

In Memory of our Friend

January 4, 2013

Yesterday my dear friend--my husband’s best friend--Tyler, passed away.  Stephen’s strength and faith has him taking the news well (or at least in public), but I find myself unable to keep the tears at bay.   Writing has always been such a catharsis for me, that I selfishly hope writing some thoughts down will help ease the pain a bit.

There’s a song I really like that starts out with lyrics something like this: “I’ve heard it said some people pass into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn, and we are lead to those who help us most to grow, if we let them and we help them in return.”  I believe very much that we are guided to find people to love, people who will help us to be better.  Being friends with Tyler so completely changed my husband’s life and profoundly affected mine as well, that I am positive our friendship was no coincidence.  

I first met Tyler at the exact time I first met Stephen.  It was a time of transition for me.  I had finished college, finished travelling about, and was now looking to settle near my family and start a career.  Even though I had only been a member of the LDS church for a couple of years, I was serving as Relief Society President for my Single’s Ward.  Stephen (“with a PH” as he always introduced himself) was also serving in a leadership calling, which meant we had lots of meetings together.   In one of those meetings I heard him ask some other people if they wanted to watch a fireside at his friend Tyler’s house.  

I interrupted the conversation with “you guys are watching it Ramona?  Can I come too?”  Now we joke about how I had to ask myself on our first date, but actually at the time I didn’t consider the fireside a date at all.  I was just happy to be able to go home and not have to hang around in Poway for a few more hours.  In fact, I was dating someone else at the time.  Someone who wasn’t right for me, not even kind or good to me really.  But had I never gone over to the Golds’ home, I’m not sure I would have ever gotten myself out of that relationship, because that house was like none I’d ever been in before, and it wasn’t until I had spent some time there that I knew what kind of future I wanted to have.

Those of you who spent time at the Golds’ house in Ramona know what I mean when I talk about how clean, and bright, and spiritual that house was.  It just felt good.  I had been learning about the gospel for a few years, but until then had never seen it fully in action, and things made so much more sense to me.  At that house I could see how the Priesthood worked, how service made people glow with the Light of Christ, how families could live completely morally clean and thrive in the knowledge that they were living exactly how they should be.  And at the center of it all was Tyler, the most spiritual person I have ever met in my life.  Tyler, who never deviated from the straight path, who never forgot a birthday or a special event, who truly cared about the mundane things in everyone’s lives.

That first fireside was just the beginning of many, many evenings spent at the Golds’ house.  I quickly learned that Stephen was considered part of the family.  This was probably the very first thing I loved about him, because I too had a best friend and an adoptive family and I knew exactly what a blessing those extra families are.  When Stephen held Tyler’s little baby niece, Katie, I knew he really loved her.

I remember first time meeting Amy Gold.  When she came in she hugged her family and then hugged Stephen too.  We had already started dating so she looked at me sort of sheepishly and said, “sorry, hope you don’t mind.  Steve’s kind of like my brother.”  I didn’t mind at all, for I too have other “sisters” and “brothers” that don’t share my blood.   I really think that’s when I started to figure out this might just be ‘it” for me.

As I started to know PH (that’s what my family calls him) better, I learned what a huge role Tyler played in his life.  Tyler saved him really, from going down a path of sadness and uncertainty.  Tyler brought him back to church and got him prepared to serve a mission.  Tyler gave my husband the tools he still uses in being a loving, righteous husband and father, and I will forever be grateful for that role he played.

Being friends with Tyler was so different than being friends with anyone else.  His limitations from his Muscular Dystrophy meant that Tyler lived in a wheelchair and really didn’t leave his house much.  So all of our adventures had to be had at his house.  Tyler was fiercely passionate about the gospel and about giving service unto others.  And since, by the time I knew him, he had very limited use of his body, Tyler used mine and Stephen’s body (and anyone else’s he could get) to do his service for him.  So we found ourselves doing things like baking cookies for the whole neighborhood, or wrapping massive piles of gifts at Christmas, or typing out missionary letters to send throughout the stake.   Tyler was the ever-present General of these operations overseeing every last detail, and we were the ones really benefitting.  

Just as we served others with Tyler, we were also served by him.  Tyler gave us so many gifts and insights and was always patiently willing to hear any complaint or worry.  He was the best man at our wedding and gave us a lovely speech.  He was so good about bringing friends together that he helped Stephen keep in touch with many people.

And of course it wasn’t all work.  We had hours and hours of playing too.  Tyler’s family had every game you’ve ever heard of in a huge cupboard and we spent countless nights playing them.  It occurs to me now that in the decade I played games with Tyler, I’m not sure I ever beat him at anything.  He was so, so good at playing games!  

He loved music too and is the only person I’ve ever known who had every single hymn memorized.  For the short while that Tyler’s grandma, Linnie, lived with them Tyler used to visit with her each day and when we came over he would have us all sing to her.  I was always afraid of my weak voice (since several of the Golds sing very beautifully), but even with tubes in his throat Tyler never showed shyness or hesitation or any worry about singing off-key.  His choice in hymns was always perfect for his grandmother and the tender way she’d grab his hand (and ours too) and thank him was like being part of a Hallmark commercial.  I am sure that today they are holding hands and singing together in a place more beautiful than I can imagine and for that I am happy.  

In my church we learn that in Heaven our bodies will be made pure and whole.  I am sure that Tyler will enjoy being able to walk, run, march and everything else he hasn’t gotten to try.  I am sure that Tyler will get to serve a mission now, like he always wanted to, and that he will get to fall in love and marry.

Even though I know that someday we will meet again to play Uno and have Starbursts and talk about Hobbits and Assistant Pig-keepers, I still worry about our mortal life without him.  I feel ashamed that we never sent him his birthday/Christmas present (truly, it’s sitting in our living room right now), and that we never wrote him long letters like he wrote to us, and that we didn’t visit him in Texas.  I wish I could have hugged him one more time to say good-bye, and I ache for my husband who will not have his best friend to talk with anymore.  And yet, I know without a doubt that Tyler would not have us live a life in mourning.  I will try to focus on the lessons he has taught me: friends matter, serving matters, Jesus matters, and that life is sweet and good.  

 We love you, Tyler, thank you for making us better and blessing our lives so fully.  

What Christmas Looks like in an Awesome Family

December 27, 2013

For the first time since having kids, I didn't send out a Christmas card this year.  I love Christmas cards too, but it just didn't happen this year.  I think with the combination of posting photos on Facebook and writing in my own blog, the urgency of keeping people updated has certainly diminished.  So if you are reading this and you usually get a card from me, please don’t think we don’t love you anymore.  It’s not you, it’s me. :)  Hopefully this post and the ones before it will fill in the gaps about what you may be wondering about my family.

Everyone always asks me what I plan to do for Christmas: whether we’ll be taking a vacation or relaxing at home.  My answer is “neither.”  We won’t be going anywhere far, but it also won’t be relaxing.  Our Christmas breaks are absolutely filled with fun activities.  It seems like every year we add on more traditions.   So this blog is basically designed to brag about how cool my family is.

This year the fun started on Sunday, the 22nd.  Our first family event was with my mother-in-law’s family.  See, that’s the thing.  With both sides of my family, plus both sides of my husband’s family living in San Diego, we have many opportunities to celebrate on any given holiday.  The Oaks side is perhaps the most complicated of all the groups we visit.  My mother-in-law belongs to a big family with various step-siblings and half-siblings.  The titles don’t matter though.  They all love each other and they all get along splendidly and so their get-togethers are big, loud, yummy affairs.  In their family the gift exchange involves picking a gender-neutral gift (or combination of gifts) to be played in the steal-the-present gift game.  They always say that the gift is supposed to be around $25, but hardly anyone follows that advice.  Some gifts will have $50 gift cards in them, making those of us who follow the rules feel a little shabby.  My competitive nature has kicked in with this family and next year I am absolutely determined to have a good gift (just not sure what it’ll be yet) to bring!  

This year’s party was more fun than others for me because my kids are finally old enough to play by themselves away from me.   Wahoo! They and their cousins just ran around for a few hours outside leaving me free to socialize a bit.  Even though I don’t want my kids to grow up too quickly, having them be more independent really is nice.

On Monday we spent the day playing with Sarah and Terence who are in town for the week.  It’s fun to see my sister pregnant and happy and so exciting to think about having cousins on my side of the family.  Yea!  What I love about my sister and brother-in-law is that they are are total troopers.  Even though they must get tired, they are always willing to play board games, shoot baskets, sing songs, dress in costumes, whatever.   This Monday when my “I refuse to nap for you” three year old got a little cranky Terence made an impromptu song about “It’s Not Funny” that had everyone laughing for the rest of the car ride.  

On Monday night, for Family Home Evening, I introduced what I hope will be a new family tradition called “The First Gift of the Season.”  We read Luke out loud and opened up our first Christmas gift which was a beautiful new nativity set--kid friendly.  This lead to a nice discussion about Jesus and His gifts to us.  I’m hoping this will be a fun way to make sure we keep Christmas holy and also to expand my nativity collection!

Christmas Eve has always belonged to the Worthen side.  This is kind of an interesting year for the Worthens because Grandma Sue, who has hosted holidays at her house for decades, has moved into a retirement home, leaving the next generations to come up with their own traditions.  My sister-in-laws took up the mantle for a super-fun Christmas Eve.  The mere fact that the 4 boys (ages 3,4,5,6) were kept busy and out-of-trouble for 5 hours is a feat in its own.  We had a huge Mexican feast, played Disney Scene it (the boys won again, arg!), gifted everyone with new pajamas, had an outdoor fire, sang carols with new songbooks, and got to be with some of our favorite people all night long. It  really was a very special day that I hope will continue to repeat itself for many years.

Christmas is done in three parts for my family.  Prior to the Big Day I actually put all of our presents at other people’s houses (the advantage of living so close to our mothers) so that when the boys wake up on Christmas morning all the see is what Santa brings.  I like the feeling of presents being carefully opened instead of amassing into a large pile.  This year my first grader got a giant Pikachu, and a huge Lego set (996 pieces) from Santa.  My three-year-old got a new bike and lots of little toys.  Daddy got some new shoes and Mommy, well, Santa had to bring her present to Grandma’s house because it didn't fit at home.  

After unveiling our stockings, trashing our living room, and grabbing a small breakfast we head on to phase two: Grandma & Grandpa’s house.  Christmas breakfast has always been the tradition in my family’s home.  There is where the bulk of our family presents were unwrapped and played with.  I got to see my Christmas present first: a giant archery target!  Wahoo!  After breakfast I finally got to use my birthday present (an awesome compound bow).  Actually everyone used it.  Aunt Sarah, 6 months pregnant and all, was actually the top scorer, but I plan to practice and practice all year long, so we’ll see about next year!

We were blessed with many wonderful presents this year--of which I don’t think I need to list.  As a family we took a lovely walk outside.  How many people in the world get to enjoy 80 degree weather on Christmas?  We also watched one of our new movies and played Disney Cranium (the girls won) before leaving everyone to their naps.

Phase three was just down the street at Nana and Papa’s house.  There we met up with the cousins again and were treated with multiple Nana activities.  She had outdoor games set up, including archery for the kids.    There was a huge dinner and tons of desserts and of course more present opening.   I always like doing presents at Nana’s house because we think so much about what to give to all the kids that it’s rewarding to watch everyone receive them.  By the time everyone headed home we were all ready for a good sleep!

The day after Christmas was dedicated to the Ball side of the family.  This part of my family has always been creative and fun.  Even though the traditions we had growing up have faded with time, the idea that dinners and gifts and parties can be interesting and clever has be indoctrinated into me by my clever aunts, uncles, cousins, parents and grandparents.  So this year we decided to revive our theme dinners--something we have not done for 20 years or so.   On the theme dinners you don’t get to see the food and you don’t necessarily know what you’re getting.  You have to order your plates and utensils too, so you have to be careful.  Take a look at the menu to see how many items you can figure out.  Anyway, the dinner was a great success and I have a feeling more themes will be played out in future months and years.

Heroes & Villains Menu

Name: ____________________

Please circle THREE items and return to your server:

HEROES                                        VILLAINS

Santa Claus Big Bad Wolf

Popeye Snow White’s Witch

Harry Potter Hansel & Gretel’s witch

Sam Wise         Wicked Witch of the West

Charlie Bucket        Silver Samurai

Mario

Ninja Turtles

Captain America

Poseidon

King Arthur

Cole, Jay, Zane, Kai & Lloyd

Anpanman

Batman

Ethan

Aaron

And that brings us to now.  The downside to all this fun is that my house is a total disaster!  Ah well.  It’ll get cleaned bit by bit, in between even more fun things coming our way!  

Merry Christmas to all of you and have a great new year.