Scaling the Mountain of Duties

November 3, 2013

This morning when I woke up I found it hard to get out of bed.  I felt a huge weight upon me, pressing me down under the covers.  I thought at first I must be getting the flu, because I could feel aches throughout my whole body.  The more I lay there though (thankfully using up daylight savings’ extra hour), the more I realized it wasn’t my body being sick, it was my mind.  On top of my body I could see in my mind the mountain of duties I need to accomplish in the near future.   Stacked up on top of me were virtual icons representing chores like laundry, dishes, grading essays, prepping science, going shopping, making breakfast, reading scriptures, visiting teaching, Ethan’s homework, Aaron’s potty training, downloading pictures, writing a budget, cleaning my car and my dining room table, calling my friend, kids fighting, buying a birthday present...on and on these visions of duties appeared.  When the mountain reached my tall bedroom ceiling I flipped over in bed, listened to the silent icons fall all over my room and asked my husband to take over for me this morning.  

I know that the mountain of duties is part of being an adult.  And I know that none of these things--even the entire collection together--will determine the measure of my happiness or unhappiness.  Having just attended a funeral this week I also know that my problems are small compared to many.  This knowledge doesn’t lessen the physical burden of my mountain, however.  In a way the guilt that some people I love suffer more than me adds to the mountain instead.  What is to be done then?

It was then, when I had decided to postpone all of my duties for a time, that I thought of this blog and of my mantra to live like a Kindergartner this year.  So instead of thinking about all the other moms out there making it work for them, I thought instead of a kindergartner.   What does a 5 year old do when facing a mountain of his own?  He cries, he storms about for a while, he yells about the injustices of the world, and then, he gets over it.  He find something else to do, something to make him happy.  In my kids’ case, Ethan would choose Lego's, and Aaron would choose costumes for their own remedies.   If they can do it, then I can too.  I can scale my mountain of duties by turning to the things that bring me peace and happiness and by choosing to view my duties as speed bumps rather mountains.

So what can I do today to make me happy?  Well, here are some pictures I finally got off my camera.  Looking at them makes me smile.  I can find a new book to read, something uplifting (recently I haven’t been able to finish my more intense series because they seem to add to my anxiety).  I can put on uplifting music and play games in between doing chores.  I can take seriously my commitment to not working on the Sabbath Day and instead enjoy one day without the burden of my job.  I can talk with my husband, my kids, and my friends and enjoy helping them through their trials instead of focusing on my own.  I can enjoy simple things like hot showers and Halloween candy.  I can get out of bed, and just take it from there.