Fighting vs. Fighting

Is there a right way to fight?

     One of the most amazing things to me about having two kids is how much they fight with each other.  My boys are usually considered pretty good. Their teachers say how well-behaved they are at school, they have many interests, they both have great smiles.  In general they are peaceful people...unless they are with each other. 

      You wouldn't think that a 2 year-old and a 5 year-old would have so much to fight about.  After all their lives are completely different.  Somehow though, they manage to fight about everything!  They fight in the car, they fight in their beds, they fight over ever inch of our small condo.  They fight at home and while in public.  They fight at breakfast and at dinner.  Sometimes it feels like a constant stream of whining and tattling courses through our family life.  

      What then is a mom to do to hold onto a small shred of sanity?  Other than plopping them in front of a TV (which I admit to doing too often lately), or taking them out somewhere fun (which is too expensive to do all the time), the only thing that works is what we call "suchet."

      "Suchet" is a word Aaron made up when he was trying to learn to say "music."  What it means in our house is this: everyone grab a sword and shield and get ready to battle.  Dad puts on some piano music (usually from the pianoguys or a cartoon theme song) and the boys go at it. Now the house is filled with jumping, clashing, grunting, and shouts of "you're done for."  And if you listen carefully enough you can hear laughter too.  You can see little boy dimples.  You can hear giggles.  Our house is not peaceful, but we have found peace.    

           So the question is this: is there a right way to fight or are my husband and I contributing to the boys' bickering by encouraging fighting at home?  Maybe we should get rid of all fighting-type things in our house, but is that even possible with little boys?  

          My gut tells me the sword-fighting is ok.  There are established rules and routines (Dad is really good about laying the rules out), and most importantly it seems to be an important bonding ritual for the brothers.  I think with help of pictures like the ones in this post, there is the potential for the boys to look back at this time of imagination--a time when they became superheroes, pirates, knights--and remember with fondness how much fun Suchet was.  I hope in time it will help my boys see each other more as teammates (or at least co-conspirators), linked together in a common hobby.  And maybe, if Mommy gets really lucky, the good fighting will slowly start to replace the bad fighting.